Humility's Habits
Fresh Start , Issue 17

There isn't just one human nature; there are many natures to any human being. Every person has many "sides" filled with good and bad qualities. I can flip from sweet-talking to raising Cain in a nanosecond. Each one of us is a masterpiece of cognitive and emotional dissonance. Even at our best, as the apostle Paul put it, "The good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do" (Romans 7:19 KJV).

You and I are where we are by the grace of God. It's all grace. It is grace alone and grace amazing and grace abounding.

Certain daily habits follow this. First, I have no right to critique anyone if I can't first celebrate him. Celebration comes before critique. There is a musician's motto: three strokes for each poke. If I can't say three positive things about someone and lift her up with prayer and thanksgiving to God, I have no warrant for complaint.

Second, I should not argue with anybody until I can state their position back to them in such a way that they approve. I never cease to be amazed at how many times this little habit forces my mouth shut.

My third habit is to listen to friends for confidence and courage, but listen to enemies for wisdom and information. L. L. Bean uses this formula: there are twenty-five complaints for every one you hear. Multiply every criticism you hear by twenty-five. That's the reality you live under. Now, what can learn from the criticism?

Fourth, I recognize that it's my choice: will I spread kudos or kudzus? Kudos are compliments. Kudzus are complaints and criticisms that spread like . . . well, kudzu. Kudzu eventually covers everything and chokes the life out of whatever it touches. The tallest tree can be felled by this little vine that starts as a tuber in the ground.

Excerpted from "Learn to Dance the Soul Salsa" by Leonard Sweet, PhD

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