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Forgive & Forget
God Nuggets, Issue 13
"Love forgets mistakes; nagging about them parts the best of friends" - Proverbs 17:9
How many times have acquaintances, friends, even your closest friends offended you, in word or deed? How many times have you had to ignore, overlook and forgive the perpetrator of an offense? When you choose to forgive their transgressions (whether real or just perceived), you will discover God's wisdom for maintaining healthy relationships (as well as your own health!): forgive and forget!
 Your friends and loved ones are human, just like you. They will (intentionally or not) say or do hurtful things. Have you ever been guilty of the same? Did you need to be forgiven?
The Hebrews' ancient wisdom warns us that a sure-fire way to lose friends is to constantly point out their shortcomings, verbal slights, inconsiderate actions, etc. You'll notice that those who lack an ability to overlook the shortcomings of friends or family soon don't have to worry about it: They have no more friends and tragically, sometimes, no more family.
 Personally speaking, I confess that I'd have no friends whatsoever if I couldn't forgive and forget. Often, what we're most offended by is pretty small stuff-unless because of our past history and training, it seems (in our exclusively subjective view) to us to be "big deal" stuff.
Here's the test on this one: ask two or three other friends: would they consider the offense you're upset about a major one?
And even when a major offense truly does occur, give yourself a "cooling" off period of several days, even weeks. Put yourself in the "offender's shoes." What was he or she thinking, and why? What was their state of mind and why? Seek to understand, even empathize. Then, in a calm manner, share how their words or actions affected you. You will be surprised by the results.
by C.V. Doner
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