Don't Assume

You know the old cliché, " Assuming makes asses out of 'u' and 'me'?" Unfortunately, this usually turns out to be true. We assume other people will naturally do something without us verifying that something or getting it in writing or following up with them. Unfortunately, they don't do it. We assume that other people read or hear communications exactly as we do. They don't. We assume that other people hear us and understand immediately what we want or need-but they don't! Sometimes we assume they don't ever need to hear us to understand what we want or need, but they do!

Part of the reason we assume things is because we get a little lazy. We have a sneaking suspicion that people may not be following through or understanding us, but it takes too much work or emotional energy to double-check or ask. It's easier (or more comforting) just to assume that your investment broker, doctor, lawyer, real estate agent or other professional knows what he's talking about, rather than checking his opinion against two or three others or doing some independent research.

It's easier to assume that your spouse or children can anticipate your needs or know what you want rather that to have heart-to-heart talks with them that might bring up some of your own blind spots. It's easier to assume that your co-workers think you're great or your boss thinks you're wonderful than to ask for direct feedback that might reveal some areas for possible improvement.

Another reason we make assumptions is because, for some strange reason, we assume everybody thinks much the same as we do. Since we're all human and have a number of things in common, we assume that our mental outlooks are the same as well. This is the greatest fallacy of all. Everyone has been raised in different homes, with different formative experiences, with different sets of emotional baggage, DNA, family histories and traditions, all of which shape how we hear, perceive and even integrate information. This gives each of us our own unique "filter' to process the events of our day. Consequently, our rules of behavior-for what is good and bad, for what's pleasing to others, for what's commendable or condemnable-are surprisingly different for each one of us.

You can never assume that other people's worldview, mindset, standards, or their professional excellence, personal loyalty--or anything else for that matter--are equivalent to yours.

Bottom Line: don't assume that other people think like you do. In fact, don't even assume that they think at all until events prove otherwise!

by C.V. Doner