The Power of Congruence
Have you ever wondered how it is that some people are so incredibly efficacious and have an immense personal power in life? While other people appear to constantly sabotage their success, these larger-than-life men and women go from achievement to achievement with what appears to be a singular ease. How is it that these super-achievers are so efficacious? Where does their power come from? Is it luck? Is it something you must be born with? I believe the key to their personal power is something that any of us can attain: it is the power of congruence.
Let's say that you want to make one million dollars by the end of next year. There is nothing morally wrong with such a goal, as you are not going to go about generating this income through the sale of illegal drugs or through conning people into buying a bridge that does not exist. Furthermore, while it will require that you stretch your faith a bit, it is not a goal that can be placed into the category of a fantasy. Nevertheless, you find yourself constantly having an internal dialogue whereby you are seeking to convince your self that this is an honorable goal. What is happening here?
Another example: you want to change your schedule so as to spend more time with your friends and family. However, at every turn you find yourself making commitments and decisions that keep you from the attainment of this goal. What is going on with you- what is going in inside of you -that is allowing this to take place?
Some people suggest that you are sabotaging your success. While I agree with this observation, I do not think such "sabotage" is a bad thing. For example, what if you are the person who intends to generate one million dollars by the end of next year. However, you are also someone who places a very high degree of value on your relationships with your friends and family. If you do not discover how to integrate your values with your goals, you will unconsciously sabotage your commitment to the one million dollars. In light of the value you place on your relationships, this is a good thing!
I know a man whose highest value is personal freedom. He wants to always be able to pick up and go where he wants to go, whenever he wants to go, with whomever he wants to go. Subsequently, he never makes goals or commitments that will run contrary to his highest value. But what if he was unaware of the value he placed on freedom? What sort of commitments would he make.and then break?
Most people are not self-aware: they do not know what their beliefs, values or life-goals are. They have all these things, mind you: they are simply unaware that they exist. And this is the difference that makes the difference between themselves and those whose success they want to emulate. Powerful people, efficacious people, constantly seek to integrate their beliefs, values and motives with their stated goals and visions.
Before you begin remaking your life or setting goals you should become aware of your values. What are they? Do they serve you any longer? In other words, do you need to change your values? If my highest value is freedom and I want to generate one million dollars by the end of next year, which will require that I give up some of my personal freedom, I will either want to rearrange my values or rearrange my time frame so that I can be congruent.
What about my beliefs? What if I have a belief that I will lose my friends or be thought of as a greedy capitalist if I generated one million dollars by the end of next year? I will need to either change my beliefs or change my friends, if I am to congruently go after this outcome.
When a congruent person goes after a particular outcome, there is nothing within them that objects to or obstructs their goals. Their values, their beliefs, their motivations and all of their other goals are properly integrated so as to achieve their dreams. This is why they are so powerful: they are utterly congruent.
by Dr. Monte E. Wilson, III
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