Creating
Your
Destiny
Table
Of
Contents

Self-Awareness: Part 2

Have you ever been walking through a shopping mall and had the guy in front of you stop so suddenly you almost crashed into his backside? It was as if no one else existed in the mall but him. He was totally unaware that there were other people around him. What about the driver who slips across four lanes as if he were driving on his own private racetrack with no other drivers present? How many people float through their lives in just the same fashion?

Knowing what to pay attention to and when to pay attention to it-is critical to a successful journey. How many opportunities for personal growth or financial profit offers themselves to us from moment to moment do we miss because we were unaware of their presence? How often have we been scorched by a fire-breathing dragon that, had we been paying attention, we could have either killed or avoided? How many times has an individual mirrored back to us a reflection that, had we noticed, we could have changed our behavior in a way that would have been far more useful to our outcome?

Observe people who really, really excel at what they do: a pianist, an actor, a parent, a golf player. At the moment they are engaged in their genius, notice something: there is only the piano, only the stage, only the child, only the next golf shot. In every way, they are in the moment. Imagine engaging yourself in this manner. What would happen?

Some people are oblivious to "the moment" in which they are living because they are stuck in the past. They cannot see the present or the future with any clarity because they are constantly looking at life through past experiences. The voices and pictures in their heads are all about "that time": the divorce, the lost job, the drinking problem or the unrealized dream. It is one thing to remember the past so as to gain wisdom; it is a different matter altogether to live in the past as if it were the present.

The past does not have to dictate the future. "Once an X always an X" is not a Christian belief. Remember all those teachings about conversion, transformation and new life? "You once were this, now you are this. In the past, you chose to live one way, but now you have decided to turn and live differently." The past should not define you.

Then there are those who focus entirely on the future. They have latched on to a dream or a fear that is somewhere out there. Consequently, they cannot see or experience the moment in which they now exist. The problem here is that the only way to the future is through the present. It is our moment-by-moment choices in the present that create our future.

In my travels as a director of charities, I have met so many people who pass up an opportunity to do good today because they are focused on doing something "great" tomorrow. Their thoughts are all on some future desire or goal. They see the present, not as stepping-stones to the future, but as a distraction or impediment from the more important things that are about to come their way. They hope. Maybe. Possibly. Just wait…you'll see.

Maybe this is not an area you think needs all that much attention in your life? Okay. Do something for yourself. Choose three people who know you the best. Go to them and ask them how they experience you. In other words, ask them, "Do you think I live in the past/future more than in the present?" Be certain to do whatever it takes to secure them so that they feel free to be honest with you. Also, explain what it is you are looking for regarding their assessment. Of course, it is your life. If you wish to hang a sheet over the mirrors around you and live in the bliss of ignorance, then by all means, skip this assignment.

Another assignment. The next time you take a day off, I want you to turn the voices off inside your head. You know the one's I am talking about. All those voices that talk to you about the past or future: turn them off.

Imagine a console with toggle switches out in front of your face. You can turn the sound in your head up or down merely by raising or lowering the switch. Reach out and lower the switch so that there are no sounds in your head.

Some of you are so accustomed to having a constant conversation with yourselves that you probably will have to repeatedly turn the switch down. Be quiet. Stop the chatter.

When you are speaking with people, do not think about what you will say when they stop talking: simply listen to them. When you look at the world around you, do not tell yourself what it is you are looking at. Do not talk to yourself about comparisons; do not judge anything as "good" or "bad." Be quiet. Observe.

If you find this challenging, do not start yelling at yourself. Turn those voices down, too. Then go back to the toggle switch and start again. When the day is over, you can turn the sound back on and reflect on the experience. If there was a voice that you constantly had to turn down, what was it saying? Was it your voice or someone else's? In the times of silence, what was your experience? How was it different from those times when you were talking to yourself?

The way we often give meaning to the world around us is by saying, "This is That. This person has always been this way, so they are THIS WAY. This experience has always meant X to me, so it means X now. This is how I have responded in the past so this is how I will now respond. That is a tree…a car…a bird…" If we turn off the voices we can be more spontaneous in the moment. We can choose how we will respond. We can see things and people and ourselves in a different light.

If up until now you have spent most of your waking moments living in the future, I want you to think of that future experience or goal that has captivated your mind. Is it something that, if you attain it, will be good for you in every context of life? How will attaining this outcome affect your health, family, friendships, career, finances and other desired outcomes? If it fits, if it is a wise and healthy outcome for you to choose, begin to map out exactly what you have to do so as to arrive at your destination. What is the process?

What are the steps that you will need to take? Then, as yourself this, "What can I do today that will take me one step closer to the my goal-and-what can I do today to enjoy the process?"

Is it a future fear that captivates your thoughts and writes the dialogue for the voices in your head? Specifically, what is it you fear? On a scale of 1-10, the number ten being "absolutely certain," the number one being "probably not," how do you rate your fear? What evidence do you have that will support your evaluation-what concrete evidence do you have?

Next, what I want you to do is to think of the emotion of fear as a signal that you need to prepare for something. What is it that you need to prepare for? What is it that you can do to either prepare for this coming event or avoid it?

What specifically can you do, today? Tomorrow? This is where you will want to focus your energy. And, as you do remember this: Anxiety is birthed by a belief that we have discovered something that God is not aware of or something that God is unable to handle. Now there's a sentence worth repeating to yourself!

Read more articles on this subject:

Eliminating Obstacles to Your Success

Success is Personal

Written by
Dr. Monte E. Wilson, III
Andrea Higham, Editor
© 2004 God On The Net, Inc. All rights reserved. May not be reproduced without permission.