Creating
Your
Destiny
Table
Of
Contents
In
Search of Your Values
Some
of your values have already begun to show themselves to you.
Go back and read over the list of things you love to do (list "A")
-and why (list "B")--you know the one from last week. In some
cases, you will notice that while you wrote down different events or experiences,
many of the reasons "why" (the underlying value) were the same.
For example, you wrote down being with family, going to work and attending
church-three separate events. Yet, next to each of those you wrote, "leading
others." If this is the case you have just been introduced to a very
important value: one that is way up there in determining your choices.
Let's do another assignment. Write down the names of 15 or 20 people you really admire. They can be living or dead, real or fictitious. Maybe you admire a family member, a teacher in college, a coach from high school or a character from a novel. Go ahead…I will wait.
Now. Go back and write down precisely what it is about these people that you admire. Again, here are some examples to demonstrate what I am asking for.
| People | Reasons for Admiration |
| Jesus | Loving, wise, powerful |
| Grandfather | love of beauty |
| Bruce Springsteen | Passion |
| Colin Powell | leadership abilities |
| Abraham Lincoln | Crusader for justice |
| Ronald Reagan | exquisitely powerful communicator |
| Mother Teresa | Spirituality |
| Thomas Crown (fictional movie character) | Elegance, charm |
I did this exercise 15 years ago when I was first began seeking to ascertain
what my values were. One of the first things that
stood out was that half of the people I admired were held in high esteem
because they were powerfully effective communicators: clearly, one of
my higher values.
The value
they exhibited resonated within me as something important and valuable
to me.
We
are now going to make a list of Your va
lues.
Take
the list of events with the reasons why you find happiness in doing those
things and compare it to this list of people
and the reasons you admire them. Are there repetitions and
similarities? If there are, then write these values down first. For example,
if you enjoyed that sense of connection you experienced when playing with
your children, and you admire someone because of their ability to connect
with others, this value (connecting with others) is shaping up as something
quite important to you.
Once you
have done this, begin writing down all the other
values you have noted and, where possible, write them down in descending
order of importance. If "passion" is more important
to you than "elegance," then you would write down passion and
then elegance.
What
we are after here is not only to identify your values, but to also place
them in order of importance. One
way you can discern what value is placed where is to ask yourself this:
if I could fully experience this value, what else would be necessary for
me so as to experience even more happiness in my life? If, while considering
a particular value, you realize there is nothing you would want more than
to fully experience this value, it just may be that you have come upon
your highest value.
As you arrange
your values, begin to think about your past choices
(and their consequences!) and how they relate to your values.
- Have
your values led you to where you wish to be?
- Are
your values leading you to where you wish to go? (your quest)
- Do
your values bring you closer to God - or take you further away?
- Do
your values support the "you" that you wish to become?
- As
you consider your values, do you sense satisfaction and self-respect-or
something less than this?
- Do
your values support your goals in life? For example, if one of your
main goals is to become more entrepreneurial and your chief value is
"security, can you see a potential conflict?
- As
you look at the various contexts of your life (e.g., family, career,
friendships, hobbies, spiritual concerns) are you maintaining your values
in each area of your life?
- Is
there something you need to change: either your values or your faithfulness
to your values?
Our values tell us what makes us happy. However, simply because a particular value makes us happy, this does not mean that it is a useful or healthy value for us. Your values are not hard wired into your brain. You have the freedom and the ability to change them any time you wish. Would you like to know how? Then you'll love next week's edition of "Creating Your Destiny..."
- Finding your values
- Who are your role models?
- Where will your values lead you?
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Written
by
Dr. Monte E. Wilson, III
Andrea
Higham, Editor
© 2004 God On The Net, Inc. All rights reserved. May not be reproduced
without permission.