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Fourteen Things To Do After You Die
by Monte Wilson

From the time you entered this world to the time you leave it, there will be multiple births and deaths: The birth and death of relationships, dreams and visions, careers and so forth. Sometimes, however, our deaths can bring with them what is called the Dark Night of the Soul: a season where the sun of our universe is eclipsed, our life-force is drained away, leaving us standing utterly defenseless before forces we cannot control.

So what do you when you realize you have just entered into such Darkness? As someone who is presently living there, I have some ideas … and I do mean ideas. What follows are partial, halting, maybe-yes-maybe-no notions of how to move through the Darkness. Nothing here is original but gleaned from people who have lived through such experiences, many of them for their entire lives.

1. Ask the fundamental questions: Who are you? Who do you want to be? What actually matters? What does your soul need? Who does your soul need?

2. Your world is irrevocably obliterated. Embracing this reality is the only way forward

3. Forget about “health”: you’re dead. Death cannot be cured. Think in terms of discovering your true soul and go to work on deepening and expanding. Too many people have adopted the therapeutic model of modern psychology and think in terms of illness, psychosis, neurosis, addictions, reengineering the brain and etc., rather than focusing on their (individual) soul

4. What’s your story…now? What do you want your story to be? Who will be a part of your new story?

5. Death is an enemy but it is also a friend, as it is the prerequisite to new beginnings

6. Stop the voices in your head that keep trying to make sense of the Darkness and embrace the mystery. You can’t figure it out, can’t plan your way out of it. Jonah-like, let it be what it is: Darkness. The whale will let you know when it is time to emerge

7. Don’t waste time or energy pretending you are not dead

8. Stop “explaining” to others—which is not the same as “describing.” Be very selective and wise with whom you share your present journey. Those who have never experienced Darkness won’t understand anyway. You only have enough energy to make it hour-to-hour: explanations are a drain on your very limited resources

9. Death allows you to rediscover your individuality. Take advantage of your death and let go of beliefs, values and personality traits that were adopted or created to satisfy the expectations of others. Now is the time to embrace what is authentically “you,” and to jettison what is not. You are dead: people no longer expect anything of you anyway

10. Embrace the humility that follows loss of control, loss of friends, loss of reputation, loss of life

11. Relationally, notice who disappeared and recalibrate; notice who appeared and be grateful; notice who remained and pay your debt of love

12. Allow yourself to enjoy the small pleasures of life and to experience the happiness that does come your way. Don’t allow those who are glad that you are stuck in a whale to dictate your life. While seeking to be wise in your behavior, weep when you feel like weeping ... and laugh when you damn-well feel like laughing

13. The Darkness is evidence of God’s love for you, of his providential care for you. It is not his condemnation but, rather, an affirmation that he is – as promised— transforming you into the person he created you to be

14. Do not be afraid of the Dark: embrace it. For Christians this may sound strange. Christians love the light, walk in the light, turn on the lights, and follow the light. I am not all that certain, however, that this is a complete metaphor for how life is to be lived. This one-dimensional metaphor of light seems to me to result in a one-dimensional and, consequently, shallow life. God created the Light and the Dark. There is a peculiar beauty, grace and life that can only be discovered in the Darkness