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The Big “D’s”
Written By Brant Doner

After studying many inspirational teachers, attending transformational seminars and reading books like “Celebrate Life” by Colonel Doner or inspirational books by Monte Wilson, and Tony Robbins, I’ve managed to pick up a few things like how to find my soul-mate (turns out it was my best friend, who is a German Shepherd), how to find true friends, how to not sweat the small stuff and how to lose a guy in ten days. You get the point. But what stuck with me even after forgetting the names of most of the books was the unanimous advice to have a goal or dream in life.

It isn’t often that you can write a paper about success and arrange all the key points to begin with the same letter. That said, here are some very helpful “D” words that just may help you on your path to desired success.

Dream: Any person who wishes to be successful first and foremost must have a goal or dream in mind. While any dream is achievable (except perhaps manifesting gold from chocolate), your dream is much more attainable if it is something you hold a great deal of passion for.

I think we all find that although our dream might be to get straight A’s or make lots of money etc… the actual process, if not something we enjoy, often is so miserable that we abandon the dream. I.E. if we are studying to get an A in a class it is much easier to get that A if we have a passion for the subject because we will most likely enjoy the process of studying. The same goes for our workplace, many people I know have decided to take jobs that pay them less because for them the financial cut that they will take by doing the job they love or enjoy is worth it!

There can be numerous physical barriers between us and our dreams. For instance, if my dream were to save lives but I hated the sight of blood it’s probably not the greatest idea to become a medical surgeon. I could save lives in different ways and still achieve the desired results of my dream.

Drive: Next is drive, probably one of my favorite ingredients because it really can be the determining factor. It separates most people from those people who have can’t get enough of their job, life etc… and have plenty of drive and for others who can’t wait to move, get a new job and who are always complaining.

Some people have a natural drive that will never allow them to rest until their dream has been brought to life. While this drive is a great gift, it often can keep the “driver” from ever really stopping to enjoy the beautiful “scenery” on the road to accomplishing the dream.

On the other hand there are those people who get so distracted from the scenery along the way to the dream that they will most likely never arrive there because they have wasted time or resources. If YOU can create a drive that can provide you with a healthy life and still bring about what you wish to achieve then you will probably have the best of both worlds.

But beware, “creating” a habit like drive isn’t as easy as it sounds. In order to create this type of drive you will need determination and discipline as well. One of my good friends always used to tell me, “Fake it like you have it and before you know it, you are it.” Now obviously there are some limits to this saying, we can’t just fake like we are invincible and jump off the empire state building without a parachute… but when we start to “act” like we are quiet people, “act” like we are reading books etc… there is a good chance that soon we will have a reputation as a “quiet girl” or an “educated fellow”.

Determination: While drive displays the effort you naturally (or by choice) apply, determination is the “determining” factor in whether or not your drive runs out of gas. I know plenty of people who are very driven, from moment to moment they live life full throttle. But many times when they encounter problems that would require a great amount of sacrifice or adjustment they will all too quickly abandon their desired goal for an easier route. However, a highly driven person who is determined to reaching their destination will almost always succeed in doing so.

Discipline: Even with a high level of drive, determination and a worthy dream you may waste plenty of resources, time, connections and much else if you don’t practice a wise and healthy amount of discipline in order to realize your dreams. I really hate the phrases “mature” or “immature” because in my opinion they are subjective to a person’s belief system but I will say that discipline displays a large amount of a person’s character.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying if you are undisciplined you are destined to failure. In fact, some people I know many times only look disciplined because they are too afraid to try something new or too scared of the possibility of failure to break the rules. Rules! Ugh. I’ve never liked rules because I think at many times they can limit us while most of the time they keep us safe. Perhaps in any case it’s important to follow rules as long as they don’t limit us from positive possibilities. Even the great Tony Robbins says, “Breaking rules can be a good thing.”

But when does discipline become an extremely valuable attribute?

There is another “D” word that we could classify as “Dangerous” or a threat, the largest threat to the Dream and that is Distraction. Whether it is infatuation (which it almost always is), friends, parties or just an attractive situation (drinking, sports, movies and much more...), distractions are, or at least can be, a detrimental impact to achieving our dreams. Who knows why we are attracted to the things we are, whether you are a video game addict or you just like to read fantasy novels (all the time like myself). But whatever your vices are, without discipline they have the power to divert you from your path.

Perhaps discipline is simply the ability to postpone our vices for a more appropriate time. The old saying, “Immediate gratification, long term consequences” (or something along those lines) is undoubtedly one of the laws of the universe.

Occasionally I suffer from an inadequate sense of discipline. So, in order to fill the void of where my “natural” sense of responsibility should be, I try to run all of my decisions through “cost/benefit analysis” scenario before choosing my actions. If you haven’t tried this little exercise, I implore you to do so just for fun. If it doesn’t assist you in making a wise decision at least it will show you what you consider “costs” and what you see as “benefits”. Of course, we may not all have the same idea of what is a cost or a benefit.

BUT too much discipline, if taken to mean 24-7 careful/controlled/calibrated lifestyle may also limit some possibilities. While it is probably a good decision for most people to go to school, college, etc…. others may need to drop out to achieve their dreams through different avenues and may soon enough become highly successful even without a college diploma. Sometimes taking these type of risks are part of our determination to reach the dream. They can be a physically manifested symbol for how much we are willing to sacrifice in order to come one step closer to achieving our dream.

Dedicated and Devoted: Once you have your drive and determination harmonized you are more likely to become dedicated and devoted to making the dream come true. Often achieving our dreams come at a cost. i.e. taking a volunteer job as opposed to a well-paying job in order to fulfill your dream of rescuing endangered species etc. But if one is dedicated or devoted to the dream there is nothing that can cause you to waiver in completing your mission. Many Christians show their devotion to God by praying, going to church, paying the entrance fee to St. Peter’s Basilica and tithing. While others show their devotion to their loved ones by buying them gifts, flowers, making dinner, spending time together, etc.

In all these examples the “Devoter” makes a sacrifice in order to honor the “Devotee”. Likewise, in order to achieve your dreams many times you will have to honor your original commitment or else you may find yourself in a spiral of jumping from one dream to another (not that there is anything wrong with that, only that if that is the case a highly driven person may in fact achieve all of their dreams but never feel truly fulfilled or satisfied because they are always abandoning their original goals for new ones…. $90,000,000. Changed to $100,000,000. etc. Just ask a gambler. When you’re on a roll or a streak, one of the hardest things is to walk away. But if you have set a limit for yourself and stay disciplined you will come up on top or at least not too much in debt (welcome to life, eh??).

Dedication and Devotion could be summed up as being faithful to your dream. Seeing your dream to the day that it is realized. These days (probably every other day as well however) it seems like we have grown into the custom of promising the world. For whatever reason we often “bite off more than we can chew.” There are a couple of remedies to “fix” this cultural conundrum and most of us will, in our own good time, choose for ourselves. As far as I can see we must first think long and hard about what our dream requires from us and understand if we are willing to give the “all” that is required of us. Saying that you will do something is typically the easiest part, it’s romantic, exciting and beautiful. But actually carrying out a promise is a day-to-day, hour-to-hour responsibility that can be an uphill struggle when you often don’t get the affirmation and recognition that you think you deserve.

Diligence: As defined Diligence can be summed up as a “constant and earnest effort to accomplish what is undertaken.” Easier said then done! It takes a lot to have diligence as one of your defining characteristics but once you have mastered this trait any task, any dream, goal, whatever IS attainable.

What separates a diligent person from the rest? We’ve all heard the Yoda quote, “There is no try, only do.” Similarly, for a driven, determined devoted and diligent person, there are no excuses. People usually employ excuses to cover up their lack of attention, effort and diligence. Why a report is late, why the garbage isn’t taken out etc… we have a good “reason”. But the diligent person on the other hand anticipates what issues may arise to foul thing up and makes plans accordingly. They, for most part, report to themselves and accept nothing less that 100% from themselves.

Right about now you might be thinking I’m talking about some type of impossible super human that we are all supposed to aspire to, am I right? You protest that it would be hard enough to master one “D” at a time let alone all of them. But just because the road ahead to achieving our dream looks challenging doesn’t mean we have to give up, right?

Unfortunately for most people, when the challenge appears too much, it’s time to hit the eject button. But that comes back to determination. At the end of the day (or life) we are left with our legacy, the results of how we lived. Whether it’s family, children, art, companies, houses, helping others, cars, books, whatever… our fingerprint and life will be remembered not by who we were, but what we left behind.

In short, our dreams determine not only what we want from life, but who we want to be remembered as, what we are remembered for achieving. Whether we focus on our big life long goals and dreams or the day-to-day steps necessary to achieve them. There is only one clear-cut way I can see of feeling satisfied and fulfilled. And that is having the courage enough to stand by our life results (yes, the good and the bad ones) and lay claim to them. It takes a lot of responsibility and intentionality to live life like this, every moment thinking, “Is this what I want to be remembered for?” but if we do so (at least most of the time) rest assured you can have at least one reason to put your mind at peace, and that is that you did your best and that is all that you could do.

Drive, determination, diligence, discipline, dedication and devotion are all virtues and qualities that have helped people make their dreams come true. It isn’t easy, but then again, great things rarely are.

Dictionary Definitions of the D’s:

Dream: an aspiration; goal; aim.
Determination: the act of coming to a decision or of fixing or settling a purpose.
Diligent: constant and earnest effort to accomplish what is undertaken; persistent exertion of body or mind.
Drive: an inner urge that stimulates activity or inhibition; a basic or instinctive need.
Discipline: training to act in accordance with rules.
Dedication: a devoting or setting aside for a particular purpose.
Devoted: feeling or demonstrating loyalty.
Distraction: that which amuses, entertains, or diverts; amusement; entertainment.