Inspirational Articles

Featured Articles

Mental Health
By Monte Wilson

Monte: You evidently have studied psychology. What is your psychological-model: Psychoanalytic? Behaviorism? Freudianism (LOL)? Cognitive psychology? Biological? Existential? Sociocultural? Postmodern? What?

Actually, there is no such thing as a postmodern psychological model, as these people think all such models were created by The Man as a power trip. Plus, when all truth is personal truth it is somewhat difficult to make value judgments regarding certain behaviors and such, isn’t it? Anyway—

Yes, I have studied psychology, both formally and informally. I think most of whatever it is I do understand about the human psyche has come through my own private informal studies. (Frankly, I think some of the more useful books for studying human nature are novels: books like Twain’s Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn and Victor Hugo’s Ninety-Three come to mind.) I am familiar with the basic tenets of most of the major schools (models) but in no way could I say that I am either an expert on any of these models or a proponent.

I think we always need to remember that models are just that—Models: they are human constructs, and as such must be studied and held (or not) with great tentativeness and humility. (Remember: The Map is Not The Territory.) Sometimes an aspect of one model can be useful with one person, and of no use whatsoever for the next.

Humans are unique individuals and must never be treated as if they were made up of software programs that only need to be reprogrammed with the correct formula. Formulas do not work with people. Sadly—at least for their clients—many psychologists and therapist utilize only one model. You know what they say: to someone with a hammer everything looks like a nail.

Caveat. As a follower of Christ, everything I think I know or am learning is always scrutinized by a Christian understanding of human nature: God created us, we chose/choose to go our own way, we need His grace and redemption, there are fixed moral standards, etc. That being said …

In no particular order, here is my general mindset when counseling or coaching:

1. Begin with present experience and reality, not the past, and with encouraging the individual to take responsibility for his life. (I have been greatly influenced by William Glasser’s, Reality Therapy. Greatly influenced.) While this is sometimes a painful exercise it is quite liberating, as, once I do this, I am now free to begin creating the life I want, rather than being a victim of my past.

The past does not equal the future … or doesn’t need to, anyway. You’d think Christians would really “get this,” but so often they do not. Rather than embracing the reality of being a new creation and all that this means, many hold on to their pasts (I am x and will always be x), as if their personalities and behaviors were set in concrete.

2. Focus on wholeness and the creative development of the personality and character (not on pathology) and on the responsible resolution of the conflict. In other words: Who Do You Want to Become? What is to Be Your Way of Being in the World…From Henceforth? What Needs to Take Place Today … Tomorrow?

3. Face the impending reality of your death. You are not Duncan MacLeod “immortal, born in the Highlands of Scotland four hundred years ago. He is not alone. There are others like him, some good, some evil. For centuries he has battled the forces of Darkness, with Holy Ground his only refuge. He cannot die, unless you take his head and with it, his power. In the end there can be only one.”

The reality of death requires choices, acts of will. I cannot do all things, be all things, etc., and I do not have all-the-time-in-the-world. Therefore, I must make choices: choices for which I alone am responsible, choices which kill off the possibility of other choices.

4. Jesus died for people, not principles. Man was not made for the Sabbath, but the Sabbath for man. Truth, principle, models, and the like, are there to serve us in our quest, not to beat each other up with. The ministry of condemnation went out with Moses. Or was supposed to.

5. The Problem of Guilt: People most always know they are screw-ups, already feel condemned. As I see it, the counselors mission, then, is to point them toward God’s grace and love, and the freedom that comes with this awareness.

6. Help the individual discover all the choices available to them … and then let them make their choice. I do not see myself as The Answer Man (no, I do not!), which is a dangerous mindset, as far as I am concerned. I never allow myself to think, “I understand.” I have some understand-ing, yet do not see and know as only God sees and knows. I am a guide not a prophet.

7. Community. People need people (cue Barbara Streisand, "People ... people who need people..."): we need the love, support, encouragement and wisdom of others. (Reference my blog, Legendary Leaders: The Round Table.) God didn’t create us to be Lone Rangers.

While I do believe there are situations where we need experts to help us walk through a particular crisis, these are isolated events, whereas our need for community is a constant. HOWEVER, while I encourage people to find community, especially in regards to their present crisis, I point them toward finding people who have Been There Done That. What I mean here is that we will want people who have gone through similar trials and come out the other end free and clear. If I am struggling with my teenagers, I am not going to place a lot of weight on what someone thinks who doesn’t even have any children. Stay away from support groups where everyone sits around and swaps ignorance. Yes, there is a certain degree of support that can still be found here, but if there are no Wise Ones in the group, I believe you should look elsewhere. What you want are people with experience and wisdom, not theories and best guesses. Okay. Maybe you won’t want that: I should speak only for myself here. This is what I want.