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The Quest

Values: Looking Back on a Life Well Lived

Imagine yourself nearing the end of your journey here in this world. You have become the person you wished to be, accomplished such wonderful things, created and maintained healthy relationships, had so many remarkable adventures and continued to follow after God with all of your heart, mind and strength. What a ride…what a journey …what an awesome gift!

As you look back at your life, reviewing all the goals you have accomplished, the experiences you have had, the person you have become, ask yourself this: what values were most useful in supporting all of this? To state it in another way, so as to achieve what you wish to accomplish and to become the person you wish to be, what are the values you will need to propel you along the way?

Let's look over a handful of your options. As you read each individual value, allow yourself to imagine what changes would occur in your life if this specific value were one of your own.

Adventure, Making a Difference, Justice, Achieving Excellence, Learning, Beauty, Elegance, Mastery, Being the Best, Freedom, Passion, Caring, Fun, Power, Challenge, Harmony, Safety, Cheerfulness, Health Success, Comfort, Helping others, Truth, Contribution, Honesty, Worship, Creativity, Intimacy, Wisdom

Do you remember Mel Gibson's movie, Braveheart? What was William Wallace's chief value? This is an easy one. What was his last word before being martyred? Freeeeeeduuum! The life he lived, the adventures he experienced, and the heroic deeds he performed were mostly the product of this specific value. What would have happened had his chief value been, securrrrrrity? A little different, eh?

How would your life be different if you changed your number one value? How would it change if you changed your top five values? You weren't born with your values. You adopted them: they were installed via your environment. However unconsciously, you chose your values. If you wish, you can choose to adopt other more useful values.

Who Do You Want To Be?

If you were to be James Bond, 007, what would your highest values need to be? To be motivated in the way and in the direction that he is motivated, what values would he need to have? Courage? Duty? Honor? Creativity? Confidence? Mastery? Power? And in what order of importance would these values be arranged? Ask yourself the same question regarding Jack Welch, Mother Teresa and either your significant other or a close friend. So as to be that person, what values would you need to cherish and hold sacred? Do this exercise before going on.

Now, pretend to see a circle on the floor in front of you. The circle can be any circle other than the same color as your floor. See yourself standing in that circle. See the "you" that you wish to become. Let your imagination run free and hallucinate how that you over there in the circle will behave, feel, respond to life's challenges, relate to others, work, have fun…with this.

After allowing yourself to watch this new you in that circle over there, stand up and walk over to the circle. Do not step into the circle, yet. I want you to imagine yourself stepping out of the present you-leaving yourself behind, where you can return and find the present you-and stepping into the new, imagined you.

Step into this hallucination. See through new eyes, feel through new senses and hear with new hearing those new words in your mind and new descriptions of how life is, now. Walk around in this new you for at least 5 minutes. Then: do you see that old you over there where you left him or her? In a minute, what you will do is step back into yourself, only bringing with you those beliefs and values that may be integrated into your life in a way that is compatible and congruent with your personality. Go. Now. Do this before reading any further.

What motivates you to do "what you do" are your values. "A" will make me (relatively) happier than "B" because choosing to do "A" will help me attain or maintain my values more so than choosing to do "B." So, again, to be that you that you wish to become, to be that "imagine you," what values will need to be installed? To begin with, let's keep the list to 5 values.

Go get a piece of paper-of if you are sitting at your computer, open up a new document file-and answer this question: so as to become this other wished-for you, what values would need to be held? To be this other you, to act as she acted, to feel as she felt, to accomplish what she is accomplishing, what would your most cherished values need to be? At first, do not "think," simply begin noting whatever comes to your mind. Then…what other values would need to be there?

And as you do this exercise, you will constantly reflect upon the various contexts of your life-family, friends, career, hobbies, personal well-being, spiritual life-and consider the impact on these other areas of your life, noting what may or may not support you in your various roles and in these various contexts.

So, what values did you come up with? For the sake of demonstrating what I want you to do, let us say that the top 5 values you wish to install are: health, productivity, courage, serving others and mastery. (As an aside, I do suggest you consider having health as one of your top 3 values.)

Ask yourself this question. What do I mean by "health"? (Obviously you will be asking yourself this question about your number one value.)

By referring to "health," I am speaking about my physical, psychological and spiritual well-being.

Next, ask yourself this question. What will happen to me over the course of my life if I do not make this my number one value?

If I do not make health my number one value, I will…

• have nothing to offer others;
• be unable to maintain my other values;
• become a boring person;
• communicate to my family and friends that health is unimportant;
• dishonor God, my creator;
• potentially become a burden to others; and etc.

Spend time on this list. Really get into it. When you've exhausted all your ideas regarding the consequences of not having health as your number one value (or whatever your number one value is), I want you to go to a quiet place with this list. Go inside yourself and play a movie where these consequences are r-e-a-l: how will it feel over the next five, ten and twenty years? What do you look like to others? What is happening to your finances, your relationships, your future success and your spiritual life? See the consequences…feeeeel the consequences…hear what you are saying to yourself in those consequences.

When you have done this, take a deep breath, think of something or someone that makes you smile and go back to your list of new values with this question: what will happen to me over the course of my life if I do make this my number one value?

If I make health my number one value, I will…

• have a greater capacity to enjoy the gift of life;
• be able to maintain my other values;
• be constantly growing in vitality, knowledge and spirituality;
• live longer and, consequently, be able to enjoy both who and what I love, longer;
• honor God by treating my body as the sacred gift it is; and etc.

You are now going to do the same thing as you did with the other list of consequences. When you've exhausted all your ideas regarding the rewards for having health as your number one value (or whatever your number one value is), I want you to go to a quiet place with this list. Go inside yourself and play a movie where these rewards are real: how will it feel over the next five, ten and twenty years? What do you look like to others? What is happening to your finances, your relationships, your future success and your spiritual life? See the rewards falling into your lap…feeeeel the internal rewards…hear what you are saying to yourself while experiencing these rewards.

Do the same exercise for each of the other four 4 values.

If at any point, you feel uncomfortable, while "trying on" a particular value, you see or feel that it may have an adverse effect on some aspect of your life-lay that value aside and sometime over the next day it will become clear to you precisely where and how the adversity could potentially occur. When this happens, consider whether you can see a way of attaining this value without the adversity…or not. If not, for now, find another more useful value to take its place.

Freedom of Choice

Your choices are limitless. You are not a robot. You are not a victim of fate, God, the gods, your parents or your environment. You are responsible (able-to-respond) for who you are becoming, for how you are experiencing life and for what your life looks like.

• How do you wish to look?
• How do you wish to behave, to act?
• How do you want your life to look?
• How do you wish to feel about your journey?
• How do you wish to experience the gift of life you have been given?

It is your choice.

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