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Love & Inimacy

Falling in Love with Your Spouse Again
By Dr. Richard Dobbins

Ways to renew the spark in your marriage!

THIS DAY FORWARD - While I was going through my grief over the loss of my first wife, I wondered if I would ever love again. I was so sad and depressed. The loss was severe, for we had been married for 47 years.

However, after I began to recover from my grief I began to realize how lonely I was. I will always be grateful for mutual friends who introduced Priscilla and me. And during the first 17 days of December 1993, I talked to Priscilla for 31 hours on the telephone.

After the first few days, people who knew me well could see the difference in me. I was running up the stairs again rather than walking. There was a spring in my step and I was humming love songs. I was acting young again; I was in love.

If we, as married couples, want to keep alive the kind of love that made our relationship so much fun in the beginning, we must periodically fall in love with each other again.

Here are some suggestions:

1. Call each other two or three times during your workday.

The conversations do not have to be long. But just knowing you are on your spouse's mind and that he or she cares enough to call helps keep the spark alive in your relationship.

2. Fantasize about each other while the two of you are apart.

Remind yourself of how good a loving embrace feels. Recall the romantic places you have been and the romantic things you have done.

3. Surprise each other with little unselfish gifts.

The husband may bring home some cut flowers occasionally. The wife might prepare her husband's favorite meal.

4. Two or three times a year plan to get away without your children and fully devote yourselves to nourishing your marriage.

One of the best things you can do for your children is to let them see that their parents are still very much in love with each other.

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