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The Power of Reframing in a Healthy Relationship
by Dr. Monte E. Wilson, III

I once received a note from a man who wrote, "These are the facts, this is what happened, these are the consequences…. and if you disagree with me, then you are refusing to face reality."To whose reality was he referring? And how was it that he was able to escape being a creature of his own history and culture and take a god-like position so as to come to this divinely objective view of reality?

The Nature of Love:  How Love Behaves
By Dr. Monte Wilson

What strikes me about Paul’s description of love in I Corinthians 13 is that it is all about how love behaves. There is nothing here about the subjective experiences we usually think about when speaking of the nature of love. This is not to suggest that feelings are not an ingredient of love, only that as far as Paul was concerned feelings were not the primary or defining ingredient. I actually don't think it is possible to behave as love demands and not end up with loving-feelings.

Learning from Negativity

If there is one emotional response that rivals the human instinct to survive, it is the average human's drive to remain within the "normal and comfortable" range. Confusing situations or ones that threaten our comfort zones we label as "bad," or at least "negative," which more or less amounts to the same thing.


Decision-Making: Right Mind, Right Questions, Right People
By Monte Wilson

Part 3: Right People

People from different (macro and micro) cultures, because we all too often confuse ethics (what is right and wrong) with cultural preferences, and because such people have an entirely different take on life, love, work, success and happiness than we do.

Decision-Making: Right Mind, Right Questions, Right People
By Monte Wilson

Part 2: Right Questions

“What will so-and-so think/feel/do if I decide for x” is usually not a primary concern, as it places far too much emphasis on the opinions, beliefs, values, and feelings of people who do not live in your skin, have beliefs and values that conflict with yours or that will change this time next year. Good thing to remember here: honoring others doesn’t require that you submit to them.

Decision-Making: Right Mind, Right Questions, Right People
By Monte Wilson

Part 1: Right Mind

It always baffles me when people make major decisions for their lives while being depressed. Uh, what sort of goals will be set or decisions made in such a state of mind? “I hate myself, my life (sobbing, in fetal position) … I am going to die here if I do not do something else, anything else (retching) … o well, (fondling razor blade) … I will go do this.”

Reflections on Generosity

By Jim Rohn

It's best to start the discipline of generosity when the amounts are small. It's easy to give ten cents out of a dollar; it's a little harder to give a hundred thousand out of a million.

Decision Making for Optimists and Pessimists

Some people see the glass half empty, and others see it half full and proceed accordingly.  Interestingly enough, these people are usually married or in business together.

I am not altogether comfortable with using the words optimist and pessimist. Optimists see themselves as people who operate by faith and hope: pessimists see themselves, not as pessimists, but as realists. To the pessimist the optimist is a Pollyanna: in the eyes of the optimist, the pessimist is a cynic. I think both are often not far from the mark. Anyway, when I use the words optimist and pessimist it usually conjures up pejorative images of dreamers and cynics.

Share Your Gift

"Life's secret to truly rich living (emotional, spiritual, physical and financial) is to use your God-given gift to help another one of God's creatures."

Many gifts, usually called "talents" are obvious. This would include natural talents in the arts and sciences, the helping professions, business, arts and crafts, parenting, sports and so on. The real question is not what your gift is, but are you using it to enhance or advance God's creation - primarily other people?

By Monte E. Wilson

Responsibility - Able-to-respond

He/she/they/it made me feel sad, angry, guilty, happy, hopeful, at peace.

Actually, I chose to feel this way. If I had no say-so in the matter, than I carry no responsibility, eh? I was simply a victim of my emotions. Riiiiight. No, based on my beliefs, thought-processes and even behavioral preferences, I made a choice to feel as I do. It may have been decided in a millisecond but I did decide. It may be an indirect choice that came as a result of my beliefs, but that too is a choice. The only question is this—was it a wise or a not so wise choice, a healthy or not so healthy choice? And believe me, sometimes sadness, anger or guilt can be the appropriate choice, as is the one where we choose to not remain in any of these three states longer than is necessary.

Talking Heads
By Monte Wilson

Parrot: “Ack … Thus Saith Me.
Polly Wants Applause!”

Read the script, cite chapter and verse, be right, make him/her wrong, holding to the Company Line— Denominational, Theological System, Company Standards—challenging all deviations. Of course, your opposing Talking Heads have different chapters, different verses, different scripts, different metaphors, claiming the authority of differing authorities.

Talking Heads Talking at Talking Heads: all of them forgetting the heart, the soul.

by Monte Wilson

“I ams what I ams.” Popeye

A 300 lb man who has been seeking to fill the hole in his soul with food has a heart attack, reevaluates his life, finds God, and drops 80 lbs

A self-centered woman that only lives for herself with never a caring thought for anyone else wakes up with a panic attack, realizing she is alone in this world. She asks forgiveness, reaches out to others, and now lives in a world filled with loved ones with whom she finds great joy and meaningfulness.

New ... Or Knew?
By Monte Wilson

One day, David, the future King of Israel, heads over to take his brothers some food. As the boys are presently engaged as Israeli soldiers fighting the dread Philistines, David not only will get to serve his brothers, but, more importantly for our young hero, he will be able to witness the fighting first hand.


Part 3: Goal Setting
How Do You Get There?

Goal setting workshops are as numerous as the stars in the sky. Go to any book store and look at all the books that teach people exactly how to get where they wish to go, how to attain their desired outcome. Now, think of all the people that you know who have attended the workshops or read the books yet rarely attain their desired outcomes. What is going on here?

What is going on is the age-old tension between knowledge and action. For some reason, we humans are constantly tempted to believe that merely because we have mapped out where we want to go or what we should do that we actually are following the map

Wealth Creation, Part 2: Principles of Wealth

What Does the Bible Say About Generating Wealth?

It is all really quite simple. According to the scriptures, wealth is generated through labor, skill/wisdom, sacrifice, generosity and faith. (Proverbs 3:15; 6:6-11; 8:21; 11:25; Deuteronomy 8; Joshua 1: 8)

While inheritance is a legitimate means of securing wealth, the normal avenue is hard work. Like the commandment says, "Six days, shall you labor…" And, if you wish to accumulate wealth, the labor cannot be hit and miss: you must be consistently diligent. (Proverbs 10:4)

Making Choices: The Wisdom of Doc and Nathan
By Monte Wilson

Let's go to the movies ...

Doc Holliday: What did you want?

Wyatt Earp: Just to live a normal life.

Doc Holliday: There's no normal life, Wyatt. There's just life.

Kurt Russell, as Wyatt Earp, Val Kilmer, as Doc Holliday

More Foundations: Wealth Creation, Part 1 Understanding Money
The Sixth Sense:

Money is a powerful tool. With it we can do good to others, provide for our families, bless our friends and purchase experiences that enrich our lives. Without it there is hunger, conflict, stress and all sorts of trouble.


Love Can Be A Pain!

What can I possibly learn from it?
By Dan Tocchini

"If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

The word "truth" means reality. Thayer's Greek Dictionary says: "Truth is reality. The underlying essence of a matter that is the basis of and agrees with the appearance."

Mental Health
By Monte Wilson

Monte: You evidently have studied psychology. What is your psychological-model: Psychoanalytic? Behaviorism? Freudianism (LOL)? Cognitive psychology? Biological? Existential? Sociocultural? Postmodern? What?

Actually, there is no such thing as a postmodern psychological model, as these people think all such models were created by The Man as a power trip. Plus, when all truth is personal truth it is somewhat difficult to make value judgments regarding certain behaviors and such, isn’t it? Anyway—

Creating Your Character is Like an Artist Creating a Sculpture
by Jim Rohn

(Excerpted from the Cultivating an Unshakable Character series) By Jim Rohn

Could creating your character be likened to an artist creating a sculpture? In my opinion, I believe that character is not something that just happens by itself, any more than a chisel can create a work of art without the hand of an artist guiding it. In both instances, a conscious decision for a specific outcome has been made. A conscious process is at work.


To Have a Better Week: Ask Better Questions.
God Nuggets, Issue 5

To lift yourself out of the doldrums or to break the cycle of useless negative questions (why is my life/job so boring, why am I not making more money, why aren't my relationships better, why am I so unhappy - so overweight etc.) shift your attention to what's great in your life.

Think Before Speaking
by CV Doner, PhD

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." (Proverbs 15:1-2)

Clearly one of God's ground rules is the same thing every good parent teaches their kids: "watch your mouth." Unfortunately, our kids are watching our example rather than listening to our words.

by CV Doner, PhD

"Stern discipline awaits him who leaves the path; he who hates correction will die."

(Proverbs 15:10)

Breaking the ground rules of life has consequences-frustration, failure, rejection, confusion, illness, depression, poverty, and death--to name a few. The good news is that we can actually benefit from our mistakes, if we will learn from them and try not to repeat them (this is the meaning of repentance).

The Nature of Love:  Loving Others as You Love Yourself
By Dr. Monte Wilson

The biblical injunction to love others as we love ourselves has always intrigued me. If for no other reason than that it smacks down the pietistic foolishness that true spirituality has within it a great degree of self-hatred. Come to think of it, this probably explains why so many of these people hate everyone who is different from them, who disagrees with them, and who refuses to submit to their anti-godly standards of (so-called) holiness. “Thou shalt hate others as you hate yourself.”

Three Rules of Effective Communication
By C. V. Doner

Ever wish your mate, friends, or co-workers would take a class in communication?

Don't you think a course in communication should be mandatory in public school? But of course, it's not. It's assumed we all know how to communicate. This clearly false assumption (remember some of your teachers?) is largely responsible for most playground fistfights and world wars, divorces and bankruptcies, and frustrated relationships--at home and on the job.

You Deserve A Break!
by CV Doner, PhD

Most of us work too hard. Some of us work two or three jobs. Many of us work sixty-hour plus weeks. The bad thing is that we work these weeks end to end without some much as a real rest. Result? At best, we go stale, at worst we simply burn out. Not only in our job and career, but also with family and friends. We may endanger our health, both mental and physical, in the process.

by Monte Wilson

I have been reading about Muslim Jihadists.

For them: God is Absolute Will, and his will is not to be questioned or argued with (as Abraham did), even when, to us, it appears irrational. Here, for these particular Muslims, God’s will does not flow from a holy love (which presupposes a relationship, which, in turn, presupposes conversation), but is more akin to Nietzsche’s Will to Power

Curators, Counselors, and Chaos
by Monte Wilson

One of the titles and responsibilities a minister often holds is that of curator: Someone who cares for souls, facilitates the healing of souls. In a previous life, I was a minister who took this responsibility quite seriously. Whether it was the damage done by family dysfunction, or a traumatic experience such as the loss of a long cherished friend, or simply the dust from the surrounding culture crusting around a soul until it is as hard as concrete, people’s souls need tending to.

Daily Decalogue of Pope John XXIII

1. Only for today, I will seek to live the livelong day positively without wishing to solve the problems of my life all at once.

2. Only for today, I will take the greatest care of my appearance: I will dress modestly; I will not raise my voice; I will be courteous in my behavior; I will not criticize anyone; I will not claim to improve or to discipline anyone except myself.

Fourteen Things To Do After You Die
by Monte Wilson

From the time you entered this world to the time you leave it, there will be multiple births and deaths: The birth and death of relationships, dreams and visions, careers and so forth. Sometimes, however, our deaths can bring with them what is called the Dark Night of the Soul: a season where the sun of our universe is eclipsed, our life-force is drained away, leaving us standing utterly defenseless before forces we cannot control.

Read All The Books
By Jim Rohn

All of the books that we will ever need to make us as rich, as healthy, as happy, as powerful, as sophisticated and as successful as we want to be have already been written.


by Dr. Monte E. Wilson, III

About five years ago I saw a mockingbird make a straight vertical descent from the roof gutter of a four-story building. It was an act as careless and spontaneous as the curl of a stem or the kindling of a star.

Wine, Women and Song
by Dr. Monte E. Wilson, III

Stereotypes are like vampires. You can't kill them unless you drive a stake through the heart. Take for example, the Puritans. These people always wore black, were dour sourpusses and defined "sin" as anything that made the individual happy. Correct? Not at all. Read their journals. These people wore bright clothing, enjoyed life and loved their port. What surprises me, is not that unbelievers have this misconception of the Puritans, but that so many people today have adopted this false notion and made it their standard of morality.

Lessons in Humility
by Leonard Sweet, PhD

I used to be a learned professor. Now I'm a learner. When I was learned, life was a quiz show. Now that I'm a learner, life is a discovery channel.

When I was learned, it was a question of how much I knew. Now that I'm a learner, it's a question of how much I'm being stretched.

When I was learned, knowledge was everything. Now that I'm a learner, kindness is everything.

New Year's Resolutions
by Monte Wilson

Be at ease in the silence
Embrace the dark night
Acquire strength in solitude
Be as fearless as a corpse
Keep moving
Seek depth of soul over health and happiness
Stop explaining
Choose simplicity
Love -- with discernment and knowledge
Rediscover individuality
Be impeccable
Accept my weirdness and eccentricities

Creating Opportunity
By Jim Rohn

An enterprising person is one who comes across a pile of scrap metal and sees the making of a wonderful sculpture. An enterprising person is one who drives through an old decrepit part of town and sees a new housing development. An enterprising person is one who sees opportunity in all areas of life.


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